Like so many couples, Laura and her husband started trying to conceive after they had been married for several years, waiting until they had a nice home and time together as a married couple before introducing a baby into the picture.
Laura was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve and a fibroid at age 43, and in an effort to heal, she found her way to my acupuncture office to begin treatments to improve her fertility.
Early on, she revealed that her upbringing involved several episodes of verbal and physical abuse as a child. The anger and resentment she felt as a result of those memories kept her inflamed, and she confided that criticisms during those younger years squashed her confidence in herself and her ability to be a parent.
Through sharing the story of her past, she discovered how angry and hurt she was about the many times she had been “diminished” as a girl and young woman.
We worked together to establish the appropriate tools to heal her heartache, and the dietary recommendations necessary to prepare and heal her body before and after the surgery to remove her fibroid.
Following surgery, Laura had to wait six months before she could have her frozen embryos, made from donor eggs, transferred into her healed womb.
The decision to use donor eggs was not an easy one, given how adamant she had been that she did not want to take that route. But through our work together, she said that she came to understand what I meant when I said at a live Seed workshop that “our children come to us in many different ways,” and found the courage to move forward with a donor egg in order to fulfill her dream of motherhood.
Rather than worrying and complaining about the time she was forced to wait, Laura reframed the downtime into an “opportunity” for healing. She used the time to process her grief about needing donor eggs, and came to a place of peace about her childhood.
Because of all of the personal work she had done to open her heart, heal such deep trauma, and prepare for this next part of her life as a mother, it was no surprise that Laura conceived twins in the first embryo transfer.
She allowed The Seed Program to publish her story in a video that lives within the course, in a module titled Spirit of a Mother. In her interview, she emits such vulnerability and strength that it still brings me to tears each time I watch it!
Laura’s effort to have a baby spanned nearly 3 years. However, her willingness to share publicly that she used donor eggs and release the shame surrounding her infertility is what impressed me the most about this particular woman.
Her story reveals that not only was she ready to nurture a child and become a mother, she generously shared her emotional journey to nurture and help other women believe in themselves again after infertility and trauma had shattered them.
If you’re struggling to become a mother, allow her story to be the inspiration you need now to go inward and allow your “higher self” to emerge, as a whole person who’s ready to be present to the needs of someone else.
You can resolve to love and mother yourself before becoming a mom, and know that it’s a valuable step along the path to baby.