Over the past 17 years, I’ve sat in front of countless crying, discouraged, fearful, grieving women. All of which managed to find their way to my acupuncture office in hopes that the right combination of needles and herbs would help them become pregnant. They didn’t know I would challenge them to become better versions of themselves.
Having been told numerous times that I wouldn’t be able to have kids of my own, gives me the empathy necessary to relate to this crowd on an intimate level.
But it’s my successful outcome (and the interesting path of personal discovery that I took to reach my two kids against the odds) that allows me to serve as an inspiration and a teacher to women who need guidance through this challenging journey.
Through my work as an acupuncturist, I’ve had the perspectivizing gift of sitting with women who deplete their fertile energy — giving it away to fear, sadness, negativity, jealousy and the comparative thoughts about other women who they presume just “got lucky” and became pregnant easily.
Listening to women and watching this type of behavior has been powerful. It’s helped me to know the drastic impact of our negative thoughts and behaviors. It inspired me to write Stick It to Me, Baby! and create SeedFertility.com courses to bring greater awareness to the various ways that women keep themselves from becoming mothers.
I imagine what could happen if the fertility-challenged women were allowed to sit with me during a full day of acupuncture sessions…
In those rooms, like me, they would see how they are not alone, and they would watch as other awesome women fall repeatedly into the same defeatist attitudes about themselves and their childless lives.
Seeing how difficult it can be for other women to practice choosing more high-vibrational, “fertile thoughts” would help shift thinking and encourage women to know that it’s enough to simply try their best to make changes.
Mind-Body Medicine is what I practice and it’s what I used to overcome my own diagnosis of infertility. It’s a simple idea — that what we think about is what we’ll create for ourselves.
Despite my thoughts of hopelessness and worry before I became a mother, I consciously chose to let the quiet, subconscious messaging that I was healthy and fertile enough become louder than the doubtful thoughts that came at me from every direction.
I’ve helped thousands of women to start practicing the same holistic, spiritual-based truths that I used to get to my kids. I’m now referred to as a master of reframing, an inspirational story, a beacon of hope and healing…
However, my suggestion that women begin “thinking differently about infertility” is still quite unpopular inside the infertile subculture. And that’s confusing to me.
It’s as if the women who struggle to have kids find familiarity and constancy within their struggle. They have come to believe that it’s too hard/scary to commit to something that has no guarantee of success and asks them to be vulnerable and make a few changes to their current mindset.
As crazy as it seems, the thoughts of frustration and disappointment that lead women to feel bad are familiar. Being disappointed is, at least, something they have experienced before — it’s known, and therefore less intimidating than the idea of investing themselves and attempting to make changes to their thinking process, (for instance, affirming each day that they really CAN become fertile again).
So I’ve made “fertility education” my top priority.
I don’t mean talking about sperm meeting egg. Rather, I’m counseling women about emotions and sharing new perspectives and positive experiences with the women who find their way to my office and to the Seed Fertility website. I’m moving out of my own private comfort zone to offer stories and insights that I have seen help other women get beyond their patterns of limited thinking. Even though my views aren’t popular (yet), I can’t stop trying to help more women understand that changes to diet and mindset really do make a positive difference in cycle outcomes.
So if you’re reading this post, there is something right about you! Despite a disappointing journey so far, you are increasing your courage and fertile potential, just by taking these minutes to think what might happen if… you decided to think differently about your infertility.